Alternate Ending to A Date With Kirk
by WizMonCruWil
Summary: Don't read until you have read A Date With Kirk! Warning: there is some mature content, and it gets very angsty! Read if you are brave enough, and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: We're Supposed To Be Making L

**Chapter 1: Supposed To Be Making Love**

The movie ended, and Lorelai drove Kirk home in her Jeep. The Gleasons lived on the edge of town, and all the windows were dark when she switched off the headlights. The pair turned to face each other.

"Well... that was a great first. I had a nice time. We should make plans for the next one," Kirk concluded. She looked at him heartbreakingly, torn. Kirk must have noticed the sadness in her eyes, for he frowned. "Lorelai...?"

"Oh, fuck it," she sighed through a deep breath. Grabbing his face, Lorelai pushed her lips fiercely against his and kissed him.

Kirk didn't respond for close to a full minute, and only reciprocated after Lorelai squirmed and pushed her tongue into his mouth. He tasted... nice. Not good, not bad, just nice.

She finally broke the kiss at last, releasing him gently. Kirk appeared thunderstruck and Lorelai frowned.

"Kirk...?"

His hand cupped her face, the other hand cradling the curve of her neck as he pulled her back in for another kiss. Lorelai let out something that sounded like a squeak, and her eyes popped open... then they drifted shut, as she accepted and even deepened the kiss. "Mmmmmm..." She actually moaned and pried his mouth open with hers, her tongue wriggling back in.

She shrugged off her blue suit coat. Quite suddenly swung both her legs over the console as she moved to straddle him. Her hand groped for and found the stick shift that allowed her to recline the seat back, as she pulled Kirk between her thighs. She felt a hardness, his length, brushing up against her skirt and a tear pricked at her eye. Kirk sharply twitched out of the kiss, gasping.

"What... what are you doing?"

"Sssssssssshhh..." Lorelai's finger hovered and traced over his bottom lip. Eyes resigned, heavy and sad, she replaced her finger with her mouth again, as her fingers moved on to deftly unbutton the buckle at his pants. He popped free, and she clasped him in her fist so that he inhaled sharply, biting down on her lower lip accidentally and eliciting from her a tiny yip. Reaching up under herself, Lorelai's free hand shimmied her dry-as-a-bone panties down to her knees. Guiding Kirk to her...

She sank down on him. She buried him inside her to the hilt and he jolted in deeper. She pulled his face into her shoulder, her hair as he cried out, so that it was muffled. Lorelai nuzzled her own face into the cushioned fabric of the seat and groaned; it actually sounded like a whine. Slowly, she gyrated her hips, rising them and then lowering them. Up and down... up and down...

Kirk's moving about inside her was mostly her doing. Any independent movements he had were uncertain, his breath heavy in her ear and punctuated by moans. Lorelai's knuckles fisted the headrest in front of her, her fingernails clawing as they worked up a rhythm. At least one of them was enjoying this...

"Uhhh... Huhhhh... Ugghhhhh..." She gasped softly, wanting to cry.

She was not close. Nowhere near close. She wasn't going to cum. But Kirk did. He stiffened against her quite unexpectedly and ejaculated deep inside her in feeble spurts.

They lay there for a minute, Lorelai letting him catch his breath. Then, gaze still forlorn, she slowly sank to her knees, needing to crouch almost into a ball to fit under the dash. Kirk watched her every move, transfixed.

"Lorel -?"

Rearing forward, Lorelai took him deep in her mouth. She closed her eyes, lashes fluttering, trying to find some part of herself that could enjoy this, even as she felt detached from her own body, her ministrations as she worked. Her one hand curled around the base of his shaft, holding him in place, and she sucked Kirk in deeper still; his tip was now touching the back of her throat. Lorelai's jaw muscles grew sore quickly, but she didn't stop. She felt a pinch as Kirk's hands cradled her skull, his fingers weaving into the tendrils of her long, brown hair...

"Uh, God!" Kirk went stiff again and a torrent of fluid inundated Lorelai's mouth. She greedily gulped down all he had to give her without complaint. Slowly, she released him, accidentally hitting her head on the glovebox, and did her best to admire her handiwork. A red lipstick print ringed the base of Kirk's shaft, which was still hard but rapidly wilting. In terms of size, Lorelai had seen worse. Without a word, she tenderly tucked him back into his pants.

"Good... good night," and she almost broke on the first word. Kirk didn't move for a moment, and she felt his eyes on her.

"I love you." His voice was soft. Eyes glassy, the tears welling up, she shook her head.

"Get out..." she softly choked. Lorelai couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes as Kirk stumbled out of the Jeep. Closing the door, she slowly redressed, muscles burning as she got out of a kneeling position and tumbled ungracefully back into the driver's side. She felt horrible, filthy, disgusted with herself. She pulled out of the drive just fast enough to still not induce a squeal of tires and wake up the whole neighborhood. Speeding recklessly for home, she let the tears fall, breaking down in sobs...


	2. Chapter 2: Hating Herself

**Chapter 2: Hating Herself **

It was late, with Rory still not back yet, when Lorelai arrived home at the Crap Shack. Lorelai went into the living room to wait up for her, thinking over her date. About an hour later, an exhausted Rory appeared, though she perked up enough so that Lorelai could feel her teasing smirk from clear across the room.

"Hey. How was your date?"

"Good. We went to Al's. Pippi Longstocking's at the Read, White and Black. Then I drove him home."

Rory shrugged, and turned to head into the kitchen. Biting her lip, Lorelai blurted it out:

"I kissed him."

Her daughter nearly walked into the wall. Spinning around, however, the million-watt grin was back. "_What_?! Shut up! How was it?"

Lorelai winced. "Impulsive," she answered honestly. "But, Rory, he was so sweet, he paid with his mother's credit card -"

"You kissed him because he paid for dinner with his mother's credit card?" Rory gaped stupidly.

"No, I kissed him because... it was a nice date. Nice, and pitiful, and he had never even made it to the end of one; his other dates would leave him hanging the minute he went to the bathroom..."

"Awww..." Rory melted. A pause, and then: "How was it?"

"How was what?"

"The kiss, silly! How was the kiss?"

"I told you: nice! Not good, not bad, it was just nice."

Another pause. "...Did he kiss you back?"

"After sitting there frozen for over a minute, yes, he did. He had no technique, but he didn't take advantage, which I appreciated." Raising her eyes to her daughter, she cringed. "Am I leading him on?"

"With the way you probably kiss? Oh, definitely." Rory's assessment was blunt. She buried her face in her hands. "But, Mom: you can't control that," Rory reminded her sadly. "If anything, you just gave yourself more leverage to cut bait and say you just want to be friends. You gave him a try, which is what I asked you to do. Not many women would have done even that. But continuing to date him because you feel bad... well, then you really _are_ leading him on. And that's not fair to you, and it sure isn't fair to Kirk."

The guilt tore at Lorelai's insides then, and she cringed, barely able to meet her daughter's eyes. "I guess this is a bad time to say I fucked him..."

"WHAT?!"

"...and sucked his dick. I gave him head." Lorelai finished in a rush.

Rory wasn't laughing anymore. When Lorelai finally brought herself to look at her, her face had gone deathly pale, her eyes wide. "You did _what_?" she whispered, regarding her mother as she would a stranger. "You mean to tell me you gave him oral _and_ anal?"

Lorelai gave a guilty little nod.

"_Why_?!" Rory almost wailed it.

"I pitied him, OK?! What am I supposed to do, let him die a virgin? And... he seemed to enjoy it, as I was making love to him. He moaned a lot."

"Are you sure it wasn't him crying? Mom, you forced yourself on him! You could have scarred him for life! No matter if it's perpetrated by a man or a woman, rape is _wrong_!"

"I know!" Lorelai sobbed, her voice crumbling. Her brain was a mess. Did she regret it? Oh, most definitely. Was it wrong? She felt awful, even while in the midst of the act. All the same, Lorelai began grasping at straws, trying to justify her actions. "It... it was consensual."

"And how do you know that?" Rory bit, her tone sharp and Lorelai flinched.

"He... he didn't fight me off. When I got on top of him..."

"That doesn't mean much. Hell, it doesn't mean anything!" Rory ranted. "Kirk is probably 130 pounds soaking wet, tops. You would have easily pinned him and left him with nowhere to run!"

Lorelai burst into tears, as the full weight of what she had done hit her in the face. A brief silence, and then:

"Did you use protection?"

Lorelai snapped her head up from where she had buried her face in her hands, eyes wild. "No! There... there wasn't a condom. But I'm on the pill."

"Good," Rory scoffed bitterly. "You taught me that much. And learning a lesson once should be enough."

"Don't," Lorelai growled, eyes hard at what her daughter was implying. "You know I will never regret you..."

"Yeah, but we don't want a baby Kirk rolling around in nine months, now do we? So you'd better the hell hope the pill does its job!"

"It _will_!" Lorelai almost screamed it, so that all air and sound was once again sucked out of the room. Another heavy pause before Rory spoke again.

"You need to apologize." She sounded more like the mother, and Lorelai was the child, the former's voice leaving no room for argument. Lorelai nodded numbly.

"And hope to God this doesn't leak out to the rumor mill. Ms. Patty and Babette would lose their minds! Or that Kirk doesn't go boasting."

"Why would he do that? He wouldn't do that," Lorelai shook her head.

"Because: whatever your intentions were, no matter if you meant well... Did you make love to Kirk because you thought you could give him a boost of confidence? Help his self-esteem?"

Yes. Though it had been a snap judgment at that time before she shrugged off her suit coat, that reasoning had occurred to Lorelai.

Yet another awkward silence. When Rory's voice pinged out again, it was finally close to soft.

"Was he at least good to you?"

Lorelai slowly bobbed her head in assent. "I didn't cum if that's what you're implying..."

"That's not what I asked. Was he good to you?"

"... Yes. He didn't know what he was doing most of the time, but he was really kind and gentle..."

Rory nodded curtly, satisfied. "You fix this. Tomorrow," she ground out low, before turning on her heel and stalking into her room, slamming the door shut.

Lorelai collapsed in a fresh round of sobs...

* * *

Lorelai was out the door before dawn the next morning. Hitting the center of town, she froze ever so briefly when she spotted Kirk, strolling from the direction of his house. When Kirk spotted her, he halted. Their eyes locked. Gulping, Lorelai drifted over as gently and yet as gently as she could without scaring him.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Her voice was practically a whisper. Kirk nodded. Taking him by the hand, she wordlessly led him into Ms. Patty's deserted ballet studio, vacant on Sunday mornings, but the barn doors always left unlocked.

Lorelai turned to face him, wringing her hands with her eyes downcast. "Kirk, I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have had sex with you. It was wrong. I forced myself on you because I felt sorry for you, and that wasn't right. I..."

"Lorelai, thank you."

She finally met his eyes, blinking. "Huh?" What was he thanking her for?

"I may not have been expecting it... but last night was the most wonderful night of my life. I finally felt like... like I meant something. That I mattered. If you want to keep this between us, I am more than happy to do that." A slight pause and then... "Was I bad?"

"No, no," Lorelai shook her head. "You were fine..."

"I'll even forgive you, if it will ease your conscience. Lorelai..." And suddenly pulling her close, tilting her head back, Kirk kissed her full on the mouth.

"Mmmm!" Lorelai squeak was muffled and deadened by Kirk's lips pressed tightly against her own. Her entire body stiffened in his embrace, but she didn't push him away. In a strangely twisted way, it probably was payment in kind. They held the kiss for a moment before Lorelai finally drew back, smacking her lips. She could feel Kirk just watching her closely, but she wasn't a coward. She willed herself to look him in the eye as she said:

"I just want to be friends, Kirk. You're a great guy, and it was a nice date, really. But... I just want to be friends."

Kirk nodded dejectedly. "I think that's best."

Smiling weakly, Lorelai craned up and pecked him on the cheek. With a tiny wave, she slipped out of the ballet studio and hurried home, finally feeling like all was forgiven.

And things began to feel a whole lot better, once she took a pregnancy test that showed no sign of a baby. And, perhaps remarkably, no whispers could be heard from the town rumor mill indicating that anyone saw or heard about Lorelai or Kirk and what went on between them.


End file.
